The Insensitive

I know my recent post was a crap.It sounds so mushy. But, what can I do? It’s what i have in mind. I actually wrote it about two or three months ago for a freewriting in my journ class. My mind was kinda distorted while writing it coz I had alot of things in mind  but surprisingly I got a good grade from it. Now, less than three weeks to go before classes ends i finally decided to post it. To shout out whatever is in that article.

hope u’ll learn from it…bcoz of it i’ve become cynic of love…

I could not think of anything or anyone else at the very moment but my superman. I know it sounds so cliché. Girls thinking of guys is never uncommon but to me whatever I feel right now is something unfamiliar that it chills me to the bone.

            I wish I could write something that sounds so intellectual but I could not. Since I am given the freedom to write about what ever I want, I might as well write what fills my mind and my heart at the moment.

            It’s the 14^th of the month. Eight months ago I was career driven. I was alone yet ready to face the world with much determination. Those were the times that I knew I could stand on my own without anyone to lean on to, that I don’t need a man. But, I was wrong. Why? For it was when I met my superman.

            I call him my superman because it was one of the movies we watched together. He’s my superman because he always comes to the rescue whenever I need him to. He comes at the most unexpected moment. Moments that are fleeting yet they will always remain in my memory being the happiest days of my life.

            We shared moments but we never really got to the point of making things official. I believe he has something for me and I know he is not so insensitive not to notice my feelings for him but we remain as we are. Yet I started to wonder, what are we? That I don’t know.

            I know he is not the guy for me or the guy whom I always dreamed of but still he seems so right. I am not blind to see that he is just like any other guy who could possibly be a cause of heartbreak. Yet, the more I see his flaws the more I love him. I have made a fool out of myself but I don’t care for all I know was that I was simply being true to myself that I am in love. Eight months seemed too long that if I look back I wouldn’t believe I was able to endure. Now, I myself could not believe that I got tired. I am tired of walking the extra mile for eight months.

Eight special months together that ended so suddenly. For eight months we shared experiences, dreams and ideas. For eight months we spent so much time to keep in touch no matter how busy we both are. For eight months I tried to enjoy what we share. Eight months have to end.

I would not go into detail of what happened. It may only be a misunderstanding but I consider it a sign for me to stop for awhile. But, doing nothing does not mean I have given up on him. Like I told him, “Ill wait, no matter how long it takes and ill hold on till there’s nothing for me to hold on to”. Waiting does not always mean constantly making the effort. I will always be here I am simply giving myself a break and my heart a rest. I am also saving up some tears because I might run out of it.

            I never thought I would have to say goodbye to my superman. I never thought that I would be in such pain. I never thought I’ll love anyone as much as I love him. I never thought I would still end up alone.

Silence is my way of loving my superman. It is what suits us for the moment. He may not have felt my presence, I am hoping he would feel my absence.

White flag

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you or tell you that
but If I didn't say it well I'd still have felt it, where's the sense in that
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
or return to where we were but

I will go down with this ship and I won't put my hands up and surrender
there will be no white flag above my door, I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and destruction to come back again
and I cause nothing but trouble, I understand if you can't talk to me again
and if you live by the rules of it's over 
then I'm sure that that makes sense but

I will go down with this ship and put my hands up and surrender
there will be no white flag above my door, I'm in love and always will be

and when we meet, which I'm sure we will
all that was there, will be there still
I'll let it pass, and hold my tongue
and you will think, that I've moved on

I will go down with this ship and put my hands up and surrender
there will be no white flag above my door, I'm in love and always will be

Romantic Compatibility

Cancer & Gemini

When Gemini and Cancer come together in a love affair, it may be a rather curious relationship. Sensitive, emotional Cancer has trouble communicating clearly, but clear communication is what defines Gemini. Gemini’s chivalrous nature and silver tongue may encourage the Crab to come out of its shell more quickly than usual; Cancer, in turn, can teach Gemini to slow down and appreciate the world, which the frenetic Twins hardly ever take time to do. If Gemini seems to ignore Cancer or doesn’t provide them with as much reassurance and intimacy as Cancer needs, trouble may ensue. These two Signs approach the world in such different manners that they must be able to understand and accept one another’s differences.

Cancer is the Sign of home and hearth, while Gemini is the thinker. Gemini can easily slip into the role of Cancer’s knight in shining armor; Cancer returns that favor with their characteristic urge to protect the ones they love. Quality of home life is important to Cancer, and Gemini will be spoiled by their Cancer lover’s hearty home cooking, soft bed and other creature comforts. Cancer is strongly intuitive and maintains an almost psychic connection with their loved ones, but can tend toward possessiveness and idealization of their Gemini partner. If Gemini just reassures Cancer that they’re loved and cherished, all will go smoothly.

Gemini is ruled by the Planet Mercury (Communication) and Cancer is ruled by the Moon (Emotions). Cancer tends to keep their emotions bottled up inside as they have trouble expressing themselves. They envy Geminis their gift of open, clear communication afforded by the influence of Mercury. Gemini, in turn, can benefit from Cancer’s intuitive approach, so different from Gemini’s bubbly, surface nature; Cancer can teach Gemini to slow down and appreciate life instead of passing by the good things in their rush to get to the next new thing.

Gemini is an Air Sign and Cancer is a Water Sign. If these two Signs can work together they can be a great team; after all, the best decisions are made by incorporating the emotions and the intellect. The trouble for these two lies in learning to cooperate. They come from such opposite points of view that at times it can seem as if they simply have nothing in common. Deep, emotional Cancer can also sometimes dampen Gemini’s airy enthusiasm, and light, fast-paced Gemini can leave Cancer feeling ruffled, even tattered. Balance can be achieved if they learn to talk openly with one another.

Gemini is a Mutable Sign and Cancer is a Cardinal Signs. Gemini is flexible, willing to go with the flow and follow another’s lead; Cancer is an initiator and likes to provide that lead. Gemini may try to lead by being brave, even confrontational; for it to run smoothly between these two, they both need to learn when to back down and let the other lead the way.

What’s the best aspect of the Gemini-Cancer relationship? Once they realize they’re allies, they can soar to great heights together. Gemini is always thinking ahead and Cancer is quietly supporting these ideas behind the scenes. Each partner’s ability to provide what the other is lacking makes theirs a fulfilling relationship

Romantic Compatibility

Cancer & Gemini

When Gemini and Cancer come together in a love affair, it may be a rather curious relationship. Sensitive, emotional Cancer has trouble communicating clearly, but clear communication is what defines Gemini. Gemini’s chivalrous nature and silver tongue may encourage the Crab to come out of its shell more quickly than usual; Cancer, in turn, can teach Gemini to slow down and appreciate the world, which the frenetic Twins hardly ever take time to do. If Gemini seems to ignore Cancer or doesn’t provide them with as much reassurance and intimacy as Cancer needs, trouble may ensue. These two Signs approach the world in such different manners that they must be able to understand and accept one another’s differences.

Cancer is the Sign of home and hearth, while Gemini is the thinker. Gemini can easily slip into the role of Cancer’s knight in shining armor; Cancer returns that favor with their characteristic urge to protect the ones they love. Quality of home life is important to Cancer, and Gemini will be spoiled by their Cancer lover’s hearty home cooking, soft bed and other creature comforts. Cancer is strongly intuitive and maintains an almost psychic connection with their loved ones, but can tend toward possessiveness and idealization of their Gemini partner. If Gemini just reassures Cancer that they’re loved and cherished, all will go smoothly.

Gemini is ruled by the Planet Mercury (Communication) and Cancer is ruled by the Moon (Emotions). Cancer tends to keep their emotions bottled up inside as they have trouble expressing themselves. They envy Geminis their gift of open, clear communication afforded by the influence of Mercury. Gemini, in turn, can benefit from Cancer’s intuitive approach, so different from Gemini’s bubbly, surface nature; Cancer can teach Gemini to slow down and appreciate life instead of passing by the good things in their rush to get to the next new thing.

Gemini is an Air Sign and Cancer is a Water Sign. If these two Signs can work together they can be a great team; after all, the best decisions are made by incorporating the emotions and the intellect. The trouble for these two lies in learning to cooperate. They come from such opposite points of view that at times it can seem as if they simply have nothing in common. Deep, emotional Cancer can also sometimes dampen Gemini’s airy enthusiasm, and light, fast-paced Gemini can leave Cancer feeling ruffled, even tattered. Balance can be achieved if they learn to talk openly with one another.

Gemini is a Mutable Sign and Cancer is a Cardinal Signs. Gemini is flexible, willing to go with the flow and follow another’s lead; Cancer is an initiator and likes to provide that lead. Gemini may try to lead by being brave, even confrontational; for it to run smoothly between these two, they both need to learn when to back down and let the other lead the way.

What’s the best aspect of the Gemini-Cancer relationship? Once they realize they’re allies, they can soar to great heights together. Gemini is always thinking ahead and Cancer is quietly supporting these ideas behind the scenes. Each partner’s ability to provide what the other is lacking makes theirs a fulfilling relationship

Artist: Portishead
Album: Dummy
Title: Glory Box
ost:stealing beauty

I’m so tired, of playing
Playing with this bow and arrow
Gonna give my heart away
Leave it to the other girls to play
For I’ve been a temptress too long

Just. .

Give me a reason to love you
Give me a reason to be ee, a woman
I just wanna be a woman

From this time, unchained
We’re all looking at a different picture
Thru this new frame of mind
A thousand flowers could bloom
Move over, and give us some room

Give me a reason to love you
Give me a reason to be ee, a woman
I just wanna be a woman

So don’t you stop, being a man
Just take a little look from our side when you can
Sow a little tenderness
No matter if you cry

Give me a reason to love you
Give me a reason to be ee, a woman
Its all I wanna be is all woman

For this is the beginning of forever and ever

Its time to move over

I hear the ticking of the clock
I’m lying here the room’s pitch dark
I wonder where you are tonight
No answer on the telephone
And the night goes by so very slow
Oh I hope that it won’t end though
Alone

Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone

You don’t know how long I have wanted
To touch your lips and hold you tight
You don’t know how long I have waited
And I was going to tell you tonight
But the secret is still my own
And my love for you is still unknown
Alone

Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone
Alone, alone.

i was really mad at you…you may not know exactly how you made me feel but that was the worst…no one has the right to do that to me, no one has the right to hurt me that way and no one has the right to reject me…but you did…of all people only you made me feel so rejected…i regret i met you, i regret i gave myself the chance to know you and i regret i allowed myself to fall for you…

i dunno why i am in dilemma…actually i do know but don’t know exactly why i have to be affected by it…it was just an invitation..i simply have to go and see his family and more of his friends and the place where he grew up.ana lang nganung apektado man jud ko ug inani ha?sultii ko…should i go or not?i don’t wanna go coz it would only add to my frustration but i wanna go coz i don’t wanna miss this chance…i have three months left to have moments with him…after his graduation our roads will never cross again and i will have no way of bein w/ him…

amidst dilemma i can’t help but wonder…where’s my superman?why can’t he be here for me….yeah right i know i can stand on my own but i need someone who can always be there for me so i could stand solely….ironic?yeah i know…i guess everything is just getting chaotic for me right now and i dunno exactly what to do or say…but , at moments like this are the times that i’d get to genuinely say what i want to…so pls do stop and listen to what i utter…i do hope you have the time…